When’s The World Ending Again?

I remember when the world wasn’t coming to an end every 2 months.

I Gotta Be Nice To Her

I’ll never backstab my best friend because she has way too much dirt on me.

How come everytime I do something awesome no one is around to witness it?

I won’t be buying a nook until they come out with one that can actually produce a ‘real book’ smell.

Sometimes I’ll wear a suit just to make myself look important.

School would be a lot easier if I had been friends with smarter people.

Can you repeat that? I can’t hear you over all the voices in my head.

If I avoid eye contact with you…it probably means that I really like you.

Going to job interviews is a lot like a first date. I get nervous/sweaty and fumble with my words and I never get a call back.