JUST TAKE THE COMPLIMENT!!!

I hate it when you give a compliment to someone and they refuse to take it.

????

When people use multiple question marks, does that mean they REALLY want to know the answer?

Jokes about menstrual cycles are not funny. Period.

It’s okay if you didn’t graduate from elementary school. Neither did Mark Twain. True story.

Three things happen when you get older. First, your memory goes…

Me: “why am i single?” Brain: “You’re weird” Body: “and you’re fat” Face: “Plus you’re ugly” Food: “but I’m here for you”

You know you’re desperate for an answer when you have to look on the second page of a google search.

My relationship is like an iPad. I don’t have an iPad.

Microwaves are a college student’s best friend.

Every few years someone tries to bring back the mullet and they fail miserably every single time.