Alcohol, We Need to Talk

Dear Alcohol, We had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter and a better dancer…I saw the video…We need to talk.

I Propose a Toast!

I propose a toast for the booze making you all seem tolerable.

The last thing I remember is finishing the bottle.

Maybe it’s the booze talking but I want you to know, I love booze.

Got drunk at a party, talks about it for a week.

No officer, my speech isn’t slurred. I’m just talking in cursive.

The guy’s nowhere to be found, then I hear “PEEK-A-BOO,” and I kid you not, there he was again!

Friends leave beer at his place, saves it for next time they come over.

Hey You! Yeah, You! I totally sucked your wife’s tits.

I hope we have so much fun tonight that you have to tell me all about it tomorrow.