Always late, never calls to let you know.
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Oh, you’re straight edge? Please tell me more about how perfect you are.
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Attention: No one cares about your fantasy football team.
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Drinks first Sam Adams, becomes instant expert on craft beers.
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No money for rent, buys beer.
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If you quit school, just remember these 2 things…1.You tried your best, and 2. I don’t like pickles on my Big Mac.
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How does Honey Boo Boo’s mom have a boyfriend, yet I’m still single?
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She might as well post, “Need attention NOW” as her Facebook status.
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They say the worst pain is getting your heart broken. Try stepping on a lego.
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How come gas prices go down for two weeks, but then go up for three months?
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