Every parent secretly has a favorite kid.
I hope I have rich kids so they can take care of me when I get old.
I know I am getting old when my friends start having kids on purpose.
Everytime I see a cute baby I remind myself how awesome it is to sleep through the entire night.
I want to be a stay at home mom without the kids.
Your screaming child just reminded me that I need to take my birth control.
Every mother on earth has given birth to a child, except my mother, she gave birth to a legend.
That awkward moment when you say something and sound exactly like your parent.
Everyone talks about a better planet for their children, when most parents need to worry about making better children for the planet.