Curling irons have a warning tag that says, “For external use only” Which one of you made that necessary?
I hate to tell you, but curves and rolls are not the same thing. Not even close.
Please don’t judge me for the ecards on my pinterest, I have no control over the humor I find in them.
Rogaine takes its toll, yet again…
I have a passion for not cooking.
My body isn’t a temple, it’s a maximum security prison for fat.
I’m too lazy to text, unless you’re hot.
I do not like being told what to do unless I am naked.
I think we’ll be friends forever because we’re too lazy to find new friends.
If you can’t quote mean girls with me, you don’t deserve to be my friend.