Why is the suggested serving size for poptarts only one poptart when two come together in a package?
Give me some food and Netflix and you won’t hear from me for a week.
Do I like chocolate? Uh, I don’t know…do you like breathing?
Pay the internet bill or buy groceries? Looks like I’ll be starving this week.
You had me at “all you can eat.”
My favorite kind of bean? Jelly.
Me: “why am i single?” Brain: “You’re weird” Body: “and you’re fat” Face: “Plus you’re ugly” Food: “but I’m here for you”
Real men order their steak rare, so rare that you hear “Moo” everytime you take a bite.
French fries are vegetables…right?