Don’t Take This The Wrong Way

“Don’t take this the wrong way” is something that is said right before someone insults you.

Everyone Has This Friend

That one friend who you greet with an insult.

Best friends don’t get offended when you insult them, they just call you something even worse.

Awesome. Without me, it’s just aweso.

My TV is so big, can’t see all of it at once.

Can’t tell if I’m seeing the same asian guy every day, or I’m racist.

I’m sorry I can’t hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

I want to unfriend you, but your photos and statuses make me feel so much better about myself.

Oh, you’re a freshman pre-med student? You must know everything about being a doctor.

Oh, you have a loud muffler? Your Civic must go so fast.