Found A Gift Card!

Finds $100 gift card in junk drawer, Circuit City

When’s The World Ending Again?

I remember when the world wasn’t coming to an end every 2 months.

That dizzy feeling you get when you stand up too fast is called “postural hypotension.”

I’ll never backstab my best friend because she has way too much dirt on me.

How come everytime I do something awesome no one is around to witness it?

Failed Final, so did everyone else.

When your friend gets a new boyfriend and forgets that you even exist.

I won’t be buying a nook until they come out with one that can actually produce a ‘real book’ smell.

Sometimes I’ll wear a suit just to make myself look important.