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Presidential Vegetable

What’s Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable? Barackoli.

This Movie Is Awful! But….

Sitting through a terrible movie just because your favorite actor is in it.

A Gentleman Always Opens The Door!

Opens door for date, hits her in the face.

Let’s Turn Those Lights Off

I’m like those glow in the dark stickers; I look better with the lights off.

Play that funky music til you die

Cause of Death: “Patient laid down the boogie and played that funky music til he died.”

Bacardio

I drink while I work out, I call it Bacardio.

Don’t forget

If you quit school, just remember these 2 things…1.You tried your best, and 2. I don’t like pickles on my Big Mac.

Tell all kittens!

BEHOLD! i found my mittens

Excuse me, flow?

Jokes about menstrual cycles are not funny. Period.

can you handle it?

If you can handle me getting all “white girl wasted” we can make this work.