Clearing The Calculator

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do I press clear a bunch of times to make sure it worked.

Mmmmm Stuffing

I don’t always shove things up a turkeys butt, but when I do, it tastes delicious.

I don’t always bite the inside of my mouth, but when I do, I bite it 10 more times in the exact same spot the same day.

I don’t always tune people out, but when I do, they are usually trying to teach me something.

I don’t always have a girl coming over to hang out, but when I do, I spend 5 hours cleaning my apartment.

I don’t always go the speed limit, but when I do, it’s because I just saw a cop.

I don’t always watch Nascar, but when I do, it’s against my will.

I don’t always learn important stuff in class, but when I do, I forget it by the time I get home.

I don’t always check out hot chicks. But when I do, my girlfriend catches me.

I don’t always go home for the holidays, but when I do, I remember why I left in the first place.