Well Where Were You Two Months Ago?!

The minute you start liking someone is the minute they like someone else.

Let’s See Other People…Unless…

I think we should see other peopleā€¦at least until I’m certain I can’t do any better than you.

Talk To The Wall!

If you really loved me, you would say it on my Facebook wall.

There’s Always a Reason

If the person isn’t taken, there’s a reason.

Hot Men Y U No Exist?

Dear men who are smart, hot, awesome, and madly in love with me: Please start existing.

I Forgot Her Birthday?!

How come “forgetting your girlfriend’s birthday” hasn’t been on the show, “1,000 Ways To Die”

I Miss You…Wait…

Sometimes I miss you, but then I remember that you suck and I’m awesome.

I Would Chop Off An Arm For You!

I would chop off an arm for you…not mine, but someone’s.

Sad But True

I learned everything I know about relationships from romantic movies

We Go Together Like…

We go together like politicians and bad decisions.