How Much Do I Love You?

I love you more than zombies love brains.

Oooo I’m Busy That Night

Sorry, I can’t hangout. My uncle’s cousin’s sister in law’s best friend’s insurance agent’s roommate’s pet goldfish died. Maybe next time.

Break Bones Not Hearts

Don’t break anybody’s heart, they only have one. Break their bones, they have 206.

It’s Not You…

It’s not you, it’s my horrible choice in men.

Just Do What I Say, Dear!

It’s a lot easier to love people when they do exactly as you say.

You Broke Up?!

I’m sorry the relationship with the psycho everyone warned you about didn’t work out.

Mr. Right Will Be Awesome

If you were happy with the wrong person, imagine how you will be with the right one.

One Person Is Always Right…The Girl

A relationship is something where one person is always right and the other is the boyfriend.

A Flower A Day

A flower a day keeps the nagging away.

You’re In Love? Again?

Oh, so you found the love of your life? Who’s it today?