I love you more than zombies love brains.
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Sorry, I can’t hangout. My uncle’s cousin’s sister in law’s best friend’s insurance agent’s roommate’s pet goldfish died. Maybe next time.
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Don’t break anybody’s heart, they only have one. Break their bones, they have 206.
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It’s not you, it’s my horrible choice in men.
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It’s a lot easier to love people when they do exactly as you say.
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I’m sorry the relationship with the psycho everyone warned you about didn’t work out.
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If you were happy with the wrong person, imagine how you will be with the right one.
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A relationship is something where one person is always right and the other is the boyfriend.
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A flower a day keeps the nagging away.
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Oh, so you found the love of your life? Who’s it today?
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