Your Attitude Determines Mine
Don’t get confused by my personality and my attitude. My personality is who I am, my attitude depends on who you are.
Getting Back With Your Ex Is Like…
Getting back together with your ex is like taking a shower and then putting your dirty underwear back on.
Changing Status To Orphan
I hate when couples have a little fight then change their status on Facebook to “single.” I fight with my parents and I don’t change my status to “Orphan.”
Women Love Men In Uniforms
Women say they love a man in uniform, but when I go clubbing in my McDonald’s uniform no one will even talk to me.
Awwww You Thought I Was Sane?
I’m glad you fell in love with me when you thought I was all nice and sane.
I Thought They Would Never Leave
That moment you leave a first date and fart for 3 minutes straight.
