I Miss You…Wait…

Sometimes I miss you, but then I remember that you suck and I’m awesome.

1, 2, 3, 4!!! 5!!!! 6!!!!

Any questions asked while I am counting will be answered by louder counting.

Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a brighter day.

Sorry, I can’t hangout. My uncle’s cousin’s sister in law’s best friend’s insurance agent’s roommate’s pet goldfish died. Maybe next time.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.

The one person whose name is enough to piss you off.

I wish I could delete you in real life like I did on Facebook.

I hope you step on a Lego.

That awkward moment when everybody loves the person you can’t stand.

Hitting the gym to release stress is not nearly as effective as hitting the people that caused the stress to begin with.