Sometimes I miss you, but then I remember that you suck and I’m awesome.
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Any questions asked while I am counting will be answered by louder counting.
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Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a brighter day.
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Sorry, I can’t hangout. My uncle’s cousin’s sister in law’s best friend’s insurance agent’s roommate’s pet goldfish died. Maybe next time.
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The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.
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The one person whose name is enough to piss you off.
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I wish I could delete you in real life like I did on Facebook.
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I hope you step on a Lego.
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That awkward moment when everybody loves the person you can’t stand.
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Hitting the gym to release stress is not nearly as effective as hitting the people that caused the stress to begin with.
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