Don’t you type at me in that tone of voice.

Dear Harold…

The best nicknames are usually the ones that people don’t know they have.

Deep thoughts

What do people in China call their good dishes?

What product is that?

I just tried to kill a spider with hairspray. He’s still alive but his hair looks fabulous.

No Biggie

If the Mayans have taught us anything, it’s that, even if you don’t finish something important, it’s not the end of the world.

Gotta Stay Fit

Chocolate is a health food.   Mental health.

Be yourself

Always be yourself.  Unless you can be a unicorn. In which case, you should always be a unicorn.

Don’t Think Too Hard

Over-thinking is one of the top causes of depression.

The Bard’s Got Swagger

Shakespeare invented the word “swagger.”

Is The World Gonna End Yet?

Since the Mayan calendar did not include leap years, the world should have ended about 13 months ago.