U MAD BRO?

Don’t you type at me in that tone of voice.

Dear Harold…

The best nicknames are usually the ones that people don’t know they have.

What do people in China call their good dishes?

I just tried to kill a spider with hairspray. He’s still alive but his hair looks fabulous.

If the Mayans have taught us anything, it’s that, even if you don’t finish something important, it’s not the end of the world.

Chocolate is a health food. Mental health.

Always be yourself. Unless you can be a unicorn. In which case, you should always be a unicorn.

Over-thinking is one of the top causes of depression.

Shakespeare invented the word “swagger.”

Since the Mayan calendar did not include leap years, the world should have ended about 13 months ago.