A, B, Q, Y, N, F

But officer that’s not fair, I can’t even say the alphabet sober.

I Can’t Even Crawl a Straight Line!

Walk in a straight line?! But I can’t even crawl yet officer.


Me: “why am i single?” Brain: “You’re weird” Body: “and you’re fat” Face: “Plus you’re ugly” Food: “but I’m here for you”

Drink Up!

Life seems a lot easier after a few glasses of wine.

What’s Worse?

The only thing worse than being in a room full of drunk people is being sober in a room full of drunk people.

I Love You Man!

Oh you’ve been drinking? Tell me more about how much you love me.

Oooooo Did I Drunk Txt Anyone?

Got drunk last night, didn’t call or text anyone.

Just One More

Okay, but just one more beer, I have to be up at 3AM tomorrow to wake my parents up.

Wii Controller is Too Difficult

The Wii Controller is too difficult while drunk.