Out of all the lies I’ve told, “Just Kidding ;)” is my favorite.

You thinking what I’m thinking?

If thought bubbles appeared above my head, I’d be so screwed.

Here kitty kitty

Let’s work it out.
Cause honestly, you’re just one bad breakup away from owning 41 cats.

Its true

There’s no right way to eat a Rhesus.

Feel the burn

I hope you’ve nearly recovered from your annual New Year’s Day trip to the Gym.

You’re OK

The first step to recovery is admitting that the other person is the problem.

Sweet dreams

Regular naps help prevent old age.  Especially if you take them while driving.

Is it worth it?

Honesty is the best policy.  Unless you want people to like you.


Next time your friend falls asleep at your house; set off the fire alarm and yell, “FIRE!”

You Make Me Happy!

If I had a tail, it would wag everytime you walk in the door.