Dude, Where Is He?

Always late, never calls to let you know.

You’re Straight Edge?

Oh, you’re straight edge? Please tell me more about how perfect you are.

Attention Fantasy Football Teams!

Attention: No one cares about your fantasy football team.

I’m Now A Beer Expert!

Drinks first Sam Adams, becomes instant expert on craft beers.

I Got The Brewskies!!

No money for rent, buys beer.

Don’t forget

If you quit school, just remember these 2 things…1.You tried your best, and 2. I don’t like pickles on my Big Mac.

I don’t approve.

How does Honey Boo Boo’s mom have a boyfriend, yet I’m still single?

I know her!

She might as well post, “Need attention NOW” as her Facebook status.

True pain.

They say the worst pain is getting your heart broken. Try stepping on a lego.

Gas Prices Going Up? Again?!

How come gas prices go down for two weeks, but then go up for three months?