You’re Starting Your Diet When?!

An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.

My Black Friday Plans?

I know where I’ll be on Black Friday; in my warm and cozy house laughing at all the crazy people out there.

I swear, I am really not so bad once you get to know me.

Don’t trust people who put fruit on their pizza.

I have 3 sides… 1. The quiet sweet side 2. The fun & crazy side 3. The side you never want to see.

I don’t always go home for the holidays, but when I do, I remember why I left in the first place.

I would chop off an arm for you…not mine, but someone’s.

You didn’t reply to my txt, I’ll go ahead and send it three more times

Best friends don’t let you do stupid things…alone.

I hate my child, TYPO, *have