It’s not in HD?!

On-demand movie, not in HD.

Weekends Don’t Count Unless

Weekends don’t count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

The person at the front of the line can’t decide what to order.

The moment you try and fall back asleep in the morning just to finish a dream.

That sad moment when you have eaten every slice of bread except the two end pieces.

I want something from the vending machine, I only have twenties.

The toilet didn’t auto flush, had to press the little button.

My phone is ringing, but I’m in the shower.

The gas station pump doesn’t have the little notch that holds it in place, have to hold it.

Typed my credit card number wrong, now I have to type all my information again.