Play that funky music til you die

Cause of Death: “Patient laid down the boogie and played that funky music til he died.”

Why not?

why is it called a walkie talkie, but a vacuum isn’t called a pushy sucky?

My wife discovered Pinterest and now I’m lonely.

I cried and he still gave me a ticket, jerk.

All my friends keep copying all my ideas I get from pinterest.

When I’m sad I stop being sad and be awesome instead.

I could care less what other people think. Like if you agree.

I’m going to kill that spider. Unless it moves. Then I’m going to jump, scream, throw my shoe and run away.

There’s no such thing as an inappropriate joke. That’s why it’s a joke.

If you can’t fix the problem with duct tape, it can’t be fixed.