Girls Want to Eat Anything

Men think it’s a woman’s dream to find the perfect man. Every woman’s real dream is to eat anything without getting fat.

If They Only Knew

People think I’m so innocent…if they only knew what goes through my head.

You call them “curse words.” I call them “sentence enhancers.”

When I stay in my room, my parents complain. When I stay out too late, my parents complain.

I don’t date guys with bigger boobs than me.

When someone annoying starts talking to me I just agree with them until they shut up.

This book has nothing to do with the color grey! This is just porn.

I don’t think you are laughing as much as your LOL’s lead me to believe.

You know you’ve had too much to drink when dancing sounds like fun.

I’m scared of a world run by people who were never spanked as kids.