What about you?

I’m worried my guardian angel is a crack head.

WHICH IS IT?

Did you want to “ASK” me or “AXE” me? Because, seriously, one is murder.

Maybe the problem is I’m TOO attractive, and all the hot boys are afraid they’re not good enough for me?

Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday?

The last thing I want to do is hurt you..but its still on the list.

That one friend who laughs at everything you say…I like that friend.

Why does life only hand out lemons? I’d much rather have some money…or a cake.

You know you’re getting old when the only club you visit now is Sam’s Club.

If I can’t pronounce it; I am not eating it.

I always carry a pineapple in my backpack just incase a food fight breaks out.