Why Are You Calling So Early!!

If you call me before 7am; someone better be dying.

I Love Bowling

Bowling is the only sport I am good at because no running is involved, and you can eat while playing it.

Real men order their coffee black.

I’ve never had a dog, but it sure did eat my homework a lot.

1 cup of cereal? No thanks, I’ll just keep pouring until it starts to come over the top of the bowl.

I’m starting to feel sick tomorrow

You know you’re getting old when all of your cool stories start with, “Remember when…”

It’s boot seson and we all know what that means…my socks don’t match!

I think we’re single cause we generate more awesome than most men can handle.

I stopped believing for a little while this morning. Journey is gonna be so pissed.