That hilarious moment when your best friend dates a guy for a few days and thinks she is “in love.”
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Being single on Christmas is very lonely, but at least you save a lot of money.
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Is it wrong that I look harder for lost dogs that offer a reward than those that don’t?
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Friends text; best friends call.
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Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a swimming pool.
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I’d take a bullet for you…Not in the head but like, the leg or something.
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That maddening moment when you record a show and it ends up going over time making you miss the ending.
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Thanksgiving rule; always wear loose fitting pants.
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Due Tomorrow = Do Tomorrow
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When I realize I’ve over slept, I jump out of bed like a ninja.
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