Alcohol, We Need to Talk

Dear Alcohol, We had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter and a better dancer…I saw the video…We need to talk.

I Propose a Toast!

I propose a toast for the booze making you all seem tolerable.

The Last Thing I Remember…

The last thing I remember is finishing the bottle.

I Want You To Know

Maybe it’s the booze talking but I want you to know, I love booze.

Got Drunk at a Party

Got drunk at a party, talks about it for a week.

My Speech Isn’t Slurred

No officer, my speech isn’t slurred. I’m just talking in cursive.


The guy’s nowhere to be found, then I hear “PEEK-A-BOO,” and I kid you not, there he was again!

I Kept Your Beer

Friends leave beer at his place, saves it for next time they come over.

I made a move on your wife!

Hey You! Yeah, You! I totally sucked your wife’s tits.

Tell Me All About It Tomorrow

I hope we have so much fun tonight that you have to tell me all about it tomorrow.