I Won!!

Wins mega millions jackpot, mayans were right.

Awesome I Lost 10 Pounds

Lost 10 Pounds, of muscle.

But I Didn’t Even Ask You Yet

Girl rejects date, never asked.

Finally A Parking Spot!

Finds perfect parking spot, shopping cart right in the middle.

I Got Bigfoot On Tape!

Films Bigfoot, accidentally tapes over footage.

Dude, You’re A Dude!

Meets girl on the internet, not a girl.

This Was Just On The News!

Confesses to murder on death bed, makes a miraculous recovery.

Anything But Crocs!

Wins lifetime supply of shoes, crocs.

Ewwwww Gross!!

Steps in dog poop, not wearing shoes.

We Find The Juror…

Got Jury Duty, Found Guilty.