I Won!!

Wins mega millions jackpot, mayans were right.

Awesome I Lost 10 Pounds

Lost 10 Pounds, of muscle.

Girl rejects date, never asked.

Finds perfect parking spot, shopping cart right in the middle.

Films Bigfoot, accidentally tapes over footage.

Meets girl on the internet, not a girl.

Confesses to murder on death bed, makes a miraculous recovery.

Wins lifetime supply of shoes, crocs.

Steps in dog poop, not wearing shoes.

Got Jury Duty, Found Guilty.