This Does Not Make Sense!

Why is the suggested serving size for poptarts only one poptart when two come together in a package?

Cookie Dough Is Better Than Cookies

Why is it that cookies taste better before they go into the oven.

The Bare Necessities

Give me some food and Netflix and you won’t hear from me for a week.

Do I Like Chocolate?!

Do I like chocolate? Uh, I don’t know…do you like breathing?

Grown Up Decisions

Pay the internet bill or buy groceries? Looks like I’ll be starving this week.

Those 4 Magic Words

You had me at “all you can eat.”

Hmmmm Pinto? Kidney? Garbanzo?

My favorite kind of bean? Jelly.


Me: “why am i single?” Brain: “You’re weird” Body: “and you’re fat” Face: “Plus you’re ugly” Food: “but I’m here for you”

I Don’t Hear The Moo!

Real men order their steak rare, so rare that you hear “Moo” everytime you take a bite.

My Daily Serving of Veggies

French fries are vegetables…right?