Why is the suggested serving size for poptarts only one poptart when two come together in a package?
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Why is it that cookies taste better before they go into the oven.
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Give me some food and Netflix and you won’t hear from me for a week.
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Do I like chocolate? Uh, I don’t know…do you like breathing?
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Pay the internet bill or buy groceries? Looks like I’ll be starving this week.
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You had me at “all you can eat.”
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My favorite kind of bean? Jelly.
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Me: “why am i single?” Brain: “You’re weird” Body: “and you’re fat” Face: “Plus you’re ugly” Food: “but I’m here for you”
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Real men order their steak rare, so rare that you hear “Moo” everytime you take a bite.
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French fries are vegetables…right?
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