My Diet Starts Tomorrow

My diet starts tomorrow.

All That Is Left Is The Butts

That sad moment when you have eaten every slice of bread except the two end pieces.

You mean to tell me that kids have food fights and not fights for food?

I forgot to shake my ketchup, got ketchup water all over my food.

My body isn’t a temple, it’s a maximum security prison for fat.

I’m so tired of eating at all the same restaurants near work

I ate too many breadsticks at Olive Garden and now I can’t finish my steak.

Honestly, I’d be way more excited for you if I wasn’t so hungry.

I burnt the roof of my mouth.

Men think it’s a woman’s dream to find the perfect man. Every woman’s real dream is to eat anything without getting fat.