I Don’t Care What You Think of Me

I don’t care what you think of me. Unless you think I am awesome, in which case you are correct.

Variable Maturity Level

My level of maturity changes depending on who I am with.

“OMG I hate fake friends” has 4789 Facebook friends.

Secrets: Something you tell everybody to tell nobody.

I swear your mom and I are just Facebook friends.

I think we’ll be friends forever because we’re too lazy to find new friends.

My friend called shotgun, before I did.

Best friends don’t get offended when you insult them, they just call you something even worse.

Pretending you’re sleeping, never gets old.

I’m not sure if he’s attractive or I’m just lonely.