My Favorite Gym Machine?

What’s my favorite machine at the gym? The vending machine.

Do I Have To Put Pants On?

If I have to put pants on, then the answer is no.

Back to school shopping, I think I have a notebook lying around somewhere.

Bought new shampoo, forgot to bring it in the shower.

I don’t always look bad at school, but when I do, I see every attractive person on campus.

I want to go outside, but I don’t want to put a bra on.

I think I’m allergic to morning.

Not enough dressing on my salad, now my salad tastes like salad.

I’m so hungry, but I don’t want to cook.

I’m not lazy, I just take a lot of horizontal life pauses.