I Can’t Even Crawl a Straight Line!

Walk in a straight line?! But I can’t even crawl yet officer.

My First Day At The New Job

Got promoted at work, first day.


I don’t always go the speed limit, but when I do, it’s because I just saw a cop.

Dude, Where Is He?

Always late, never calls to let you know.

You’re Straight Edge?

Oh, you’re straight edge? Please tell me more about how perfect you are.

Dude, You’re A Dude!

Meets girl on the internet, not a girl.

How Much?

How much do dead batteries cost? Nothing, they’re free of charge!

Cursive is So Useful!

This is cursive, it is very important and you will use it all the time.

Oh I’m Sorry I Asked

Asks a girl out, apologizes when she says no.

You’re Dumping Me Now?!

Girlfiriend dumps me a week before her birthday, return her $300 gift.