Best friends don’t get offended when you insult them, they just call you something even worse.
That mini heart attack you get when you check your pocket for your phone, and it’s not there.
You know it’s too late when absolutely everything becomes funny for no reason.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9, Like this if you found the mitsake.
Do baby clothes really need to have pockets?
Pretending you’re sleeping, never gets old.
Worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but gets you nowhere.
Want to keep them pesky heroin addicts busy? Hide their needles in a haystack.
That awkward moment when you can’t tell if it’s Ice Ice Baby or Under Pressure.
If a dentist makes his money on unhealthy teeth, why should I trust a toothbrush 4 out of 5 recommend?