My Black Friday Plans?

I know where I’ll be on Black Friday; in my warm and cozy house laughing at all the crazy people out there.

The Holy Grail of Carts

Went grocery shopping, got a cart with four good wheels.

Sometimes I’ll go to the mall just to remind myself of all the awesome things I can’t afford.

Went to the mall, didn’t hear any christmas music.

How do I always manage to get the shopping carts that make the most amount of noise?

Waiting in a long line to buy something and then seeing a sign on the cash register that says, “Cash Only.”

I’d pay lots of money if there was actually a “chill pill” on the market.

That awkward moment when you buy something you don’t need just because it was a great deal.

While shopping realizes he doesn’t need something, puts it back where he found it.

You know you love a girl when you go in a store and buy tampons for her.