Great Timing

Dumped by girlfriend, just as Halo 4 comes out.

Can I Record This?!

Arguing with girlfriend, she apologized first.

You Actually Believed Me?!

Makes up lie to get out of trouble, parents believe it.

The Holy Grail of Carts

Went grocery shopping, got a cart with four good wheels.

No Decking The Halls Here!

Went to the mall, didn’t hear any christmas music.

Instant Chocolate Milk!

Pours milk in chocolate cereal, instant chocolate milk.

My First Day At The New Job

Got promoted at work, first day.

You’re Dumping Me Now?!

Girlfiriend dumps me a week before her birthday, return her $300 gift.

I Found The Stash!

My mom hid my halloween candy stash, found it.

I Forgot My Homework!

Forgot to do homework, deadline extended.