Great Timing

Dumped by girlfriend, just as Halo 4 comes out.

Can I Record This?!

Arguing with girlfriend, she apologized first.

Makes up lie to get out of trouble, parents believe it.

Went grocery shopping, got a cart with four good wheels.

Went to the mall, didn’t hear any christmas music.

Pours milk in chocolate cereal, instant chocolate milk.

Got promoted at work, first day.

Girlfiriend dumps me a week before her birthday, return her $300 gift.

My mom hid my halloween candy stash, found it.

Forgot to do homework, deadline extended.