Life Gives You Lemons!

When life gives you lemons, squeeze those lemons in someone’s eye.

Don’t Pass Me Bro!

Drives slowly, until you try to pass him.

Saying sorry just so the other person will shut up.

There are no stupid questions, only questions that make you sound stupid.

In case you didn’t understand that look I just gave you, shut up!

I hate when cashiers ask “Will that be all for you” “no I will take all this invisible stuff too.”

That annoying moment when people ask you “What’s Wrong?” when nothing is wrong.

Of course I CAN be nice to you, I just choose not to.

That was actually really funny. But I don’t like you. Therefore I shall not laugh.

Everything happens for a reason, but sometimes the reason is that you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.