Yesterday You Were Really Annoying

Everyday I fall more in love with you…except for yesterday, yesterday you were really annoying.

You Don’t Want To Date Me?

If you don’t want to date me, that’s fine, I get that, but you’re wrong and I hate you.

I’m so glad you found someone who will settle for someone like you.

Blind Date didn’t look anything like profile picture.

People say love is the best feeling. But I think finding a toilet when you have diarrhea is better.

If I ever needed you in my life, it’s not right now.

Single for one day, acts like she has been alone forever.

As I have grown older, I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible. But pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

Some guy tried a pickup line on me today.

Tall Guy + Short Girl = Cute Short Guy + Tall Girl = Awkward