Is This Possible?

Calls 911, Lines Busy

This is My Soul Mate

I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge.

Sorry, I can’t hangout. My uncle’s cousin’s sister in law’s best friend’s insurance agent’s roommate’s pet goldfish died. Maybe next time.

It’s not you, it’s my horrible choice in men.

The best thing about you and me…is me.

“Like if you were born in the 90’s” Born in 1895.

I don’t always feel like I’m at the top of the gene pool, but when I do, I’m at walmart.

Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

I want answers, tickle him until he talks.

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.