You Left Her How Much?!

That was a big tip you gave our waitress…Do you think she’s prettier than me?

Frisk Him!

I don’t care if you have to check his diaper, you make sure he ain’t wearing no baby monitor.

Looks both ways, still gets hit by car.

I just wanted you to know that amish you.

Makes fun of your shoes, wears Crocs

I want to read, but my book is almost out of battery.

Tried to hold in sneeze during class, Farts.

While pooping at school fire alarm goes off, not a drill.

Let’s ditch this place, and head back to my crib…literally.

Is the house on fire, or is she trying to bake again?