WHERE ARE YOU FROM?!

Realizes he’s talking to someone from out of the country, starts talking louder.

You Wouldn’t Change Anything?

You wouldn’t change anything about me? What about my last name?

Want to know how I get most of my dates? A fresh bouquet of lies.

Went from “single” to “in a relationship” Fourth time this week, same guy.

That hilarious moment when Taco Bell claims they have a “chef.”

We’re getting married in July, you should probably propose before then.

Steps in dog poop, not wearing shoes.

The best alarm clock? Kids.

We’ve kissed 387 times, I’ve been counting.

Got Jury Duty, Found Guilty.