I Wish This Was True

Works two jobs and goes to college full time, doesn’t remind you or complain about it every 5 seconds.

I Hate Working

That moment you can’t tell if you hate your job or you just hate working.

I wonder how much work I’ll have to do today to make it look like I actually worked.

We’re pretty positive we are not going to hire you but not so positive that we will stop wasting your time.

Hardest job ever: Working in a bubble wrap factory. That would take a lot of self control.

My bus just hit someone, now I’m late.

Got Excited For Weekend Starting Tomorrow, It’s Wednesday

Sorry your sick day is due to actual sickness.

Calls in sick to work, shows up same day to pick up paycheck.

I wore a red shirt in Target.